Author Archives: Charles Huss

Frankie’s Favorite Place

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I miss our last home. The cats had a great “catio” to hang out on.

Charles Huss's avatarBad Cat Chris

Last week Frankie discovered how to get from the house to the patio using the cat door. He has loved the patio since we first introduced him to it and suddenly he could go out there whenever he wanted to. The problem was, he apparently didn’t realize that the cat door worked in both directions.

We came home after work one evening to find Frankie at the door wanting to come in. I don’t know how long he was out there but I did know he needed to learn how to get into the house before we left for work the next day. I tried a couple of times to put him in front of the cat door and open it so he could see it worked both ways but he would not pay attention. He just walked away like he was bored. Finally I picked him up and gently…

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Bad Cat Chris for President

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This presidential election in the United States is different than every past election that I have ever witnessed. There has never been a truly great candidate, but there was always one that sucked less than the other, so at least there was a small amount of hope. Not so this year. My wife and I have been wanting to go to Germany. Perhaps this is a good time to plan a four-year visit.

But there is still hope. I started thinking that my cat would make a better president than these two… people, so I spoke with Chris and he has agreed to run as a write-in candidate.

bad-cat-chris-for-president

I know what you are thinking. Why should I vote for Chris? where does he stand on the issues. Well, I’ve compiled a list of all the important issues and where Chris stands on each of those issues:

  • bad cat chris for president ballotCapital Punishment: Chris is against it except for mice and lizards and only if he can play with them first.
  • Abortion: Chris, being an adopted child, feels everyone should have a chance to find a loving family.
  • Foreign Affairs: Chris is a natural Alpha. In our home, he took over the leadership position as soon as he entered our house as a kitten and he is certain that he can be the world’s Alpha. Any country that doesn’t fall in line will get two whacks and a hiss.
  • The Environment: Chris would like everyone to be able to go outside and eat grass without fear of toxic poisoning.
  • Race Relations: Chris thinks everyone should be treated like gold, no matter what color their fur is.
  • Taxes: Chris doesn’t know what taxes are, but he is against them.

Well, I think Chris has a good platform, and I already filled out my mail-in ballot. Since I have grown very cynical and believe all politicians are at least somewhat corrupt, I only voted for Chris and left the rest blank (except for the amendments). What about you? Can Chris count on your vote this November? If Chris wins, he promises catnip for everyone.

Adventures in Cat-Sitting

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Bad Cat Chris on chairMy wife and I went away over the weekend for our seventeenth anniversary and our wonderful friend and cat-sitter, Lynn, stopped by twice a day to take care of our cats. She is good because she spends a little time playing with them and she also sends us pictures as well.

Our two gold cats, Chris and Frankie, are never shy around strangers. Even though Lynn is not a stranger, she is also not a common person in our house.

Chris loves everyone. Darth Vader could walk through the door and Chris would want to greet him.

Frankie is almost like Chris. He had no problem rolling on his back to show Lynn his belly.

cat Frankie looking cute

Puck is our shyest cat but he knows Lynn pretty good and had no problem leaving poop on the floor for her to clean up… twice. Puck also cannot get on the china cabinet without first jumping on my shoulders or Rose’s. He has us trained to know when he wants to get up there. He does not have lynn trained so it came as a surprise to her when she bent over to pick up the water bowl and Puck used her as a springboard. I would guess he is comfortable with her.

Cat Puck on cabinet

Floki has met Lynn but he is less familiar with her and hid in the bedroom on her first visit. He did eventually come out because, after all, there are no food bowls in the bedroom.

Our cat Floki

Your turn. I’d love to hear about your pet-sitter.

Love, Fight, Sleep: A Cat’s Life

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The other day, I saw Chris lying on the bed with Floki, and the two of them were washing each other. I got my camera and started recording before the affection turned to fighting. The fighting was short and, following a brief period of tension, they both fell asleep.

I’m trying to picture humans doing that. Imagine you are in bed with your spouse, being all lovey-dovey, when suddenly, a big fight erupts. Fifteen seconds later, the fight is over and, after a brief moment of tension, you fall asleep in each other’s arms. Can’t imagine it? Me either.

Here is the video I am talking about, but please forgive the quality. The camera’s auto focus was being a little crazy. Next time, I will have to use the manual setting, if I can find it.

The Couch Pooping Continues

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I recently wrote about Puck pooping on the sofa in the Florida room, and many of you wrote back with suggestions about putting things like plastic on it to discourage Puck from pooping there again. I didn’t have any plastic that I could spare, but I decided to put the cat’s Turbo Scratcher on the spot where Puck was pooping.

I was hoping it was that spot or nothing, but he just pooped on the other side of the couch. I then loaded up the couch with many of their toys.

Cats, sofa and toys

That worked, somewhat. The next day, I found a pile of poop on the floor in front of the litter box. That’s not ideal, but I prefer poop on our tile floor over poop on our couch.

Thursday was the day our cleaning woman comes, and I think my wife was embarrassed about our “messy” sofa and insisted I take all the toys off of it. I did, and it lasted until Friday before I found poop on it again, so back the toys went. Since then, I have cleaned poop off the floor about four times, including this morning.  As I was writing this post, I took a short break and noticed a pile of poop on the ground. Since I scooped twenty minutes before, two of the litter boxes were clean, but the one with poop in front of it had been used once.

Puck has never had an issue with the litter boxes before, and I have no clue what could have changed with him, but I hope I figure it out soon.

Related posts:

A New Level of Badness

Wrongly Accused?

Couch Pooper Puck

Couch Pooper Puck Strikes Again

Cat’s Guide to Getting Outside

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If any cats out there want to know how to get outside, just do what Frankie does and relentlessly annoy the hell out of anyone with opposable thumbs until they can’t take it anymore and take you for a walk. Here is an example of what I am talking about.

This video was taken yesterday. My wife had to hold Chris to keep him from running out the door because it is too difficult to watch Chris while I am walking Frankie.

Here in Florida we have a type of wild grass, that is essentially a weed, that produces seeds, called sandspurs, in the fall that are round and covered with sharp spikes. They are especially bad in my neighborhood. We were outside for about ten minutes before Frankie stepped on one of these sandspurs.

This has happened a few times before but this was the worst. We were actually on the sidewalk when he got one of these nasty things in his paw. He cried and immediately tried to remove it using his mouth. That worked but now it was stuck in his mouth. I tried to help but he was freaking out at that point so I decided to pick him up and take him home in hopes that Rose could get it out while I held him. Fortunately, it was out by the time I reached home and, of course, Chris ran out when we came in.

I was planning on letting him out next so I went outside to watch him. He was so happy to be outside but, unlike Frankie, he was content to eat grass and roll around on the driveway.

bad cat chris outside 20161002_103625