Bad Cat Chris for President

This presidential election in the United States is different than every past election that I have ever witnessed. There has never been a truly great candidate but there was always one that sucked less than the other, so at least there was a small amount of hope. Not so this year. We have one candidate that is a narcissist and the other is a nut bag. My wife and I have been wanting to go to Germany. Perhaps this is a good time to plan a four-year visit.

But there is still hope. I started thinking that my cat would make a better president than these two… people, so I spoke with Chris and he has agreed to run as a write-in candidate.


I know what you are thinking. Why should I vote for Chris? where does he stand on the issues. Well, I’ve compiled a list of all the important issues and where Chris stands on each of those issues:

  • bad cat chris for president ballotCapital Punishment: Chris is against it except for mice and lizards and only if he can play with them first.
  • Abortion: Chris, being an adopted child, feels everyone should have a chance to find a loving family.
  • Foreign Affairs: Chris is a natural Alpha. In our home, he took over the leadership position as soon as he entered our house as a kitten and he is certain that he can be the world’s Alpha. Any country that doesn’t fall in line will get two whacks and a hiss.
  • The Environment: Chris would like everyone to be able to go outside and eat grass without fear of toxic poisoning.
  • Race Relations: Chris thinks everyone should be treated like gold, no matter what color their fur is.
  • Taxes: Chris doesn’t know what taxes are but he is against them.

Well, I think Chris has a good platform and I already filled out my mail-in ballot. Since I have grown very cynical and believe all politicians are at least somewhat corrupt, I only voted for Chris and left the rest blank (except for the amendments). What about you? Can Chris count on your vote this November? If Chris wins, he promises catnip for everyone.


30 thoughts on “Bad Cat Chris for President

  1. kittiesblue

    Our dad always says that an honest person would never even consider being a politician. We have already promised our votes to Smoke and Joe, but if they don’t win, we sure hope Chris does. Cats are way smarter than humans! XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

  2. elizabetcetera

    Chris is heads and tails above the other two joker’s. He sounds like someone who would be purrfect.

    Before I vote for Chris, I’d like to know his stance on healthcare and healthcare reform. Is Chris pro-womens rights? What does Chris plan to do about the environment?

    And do you think Pooper Puck is working to sabotage Chris’s run for president? I have a very good feline about Chris for POTUS!

    1. Charles Huss Post author

      Hahaha… Chris thinks health is better than healthcare. He loves women and wishes we had more females around here. He plans on planting catnip in every yard across America and, if elected, plans on appointing Puck Secretary of Defeces. 😉

  3. Summer

    My human actually got a passport (her old one expired in 1999) because she was so wary about this election. I should tell her that if Chris wins, she shouldn’t worry.

  4. easyweimaraner

    Chris I will vote for you!!! I agree for clean grass and for the taxes, I don’t know what taxes means I only now that there are bad vibrations in my crib when they talk about taxes, so away with that stuff!

      1. Carole

        Oddly enough, I will be in Florida during the election but sadly will not be able to vote. Perhaps I should do some campaigning for Chris though 😹

  5. Dennis

    I stopped to discuss or comment about politics, because the insanity in our world reached a embarrassing level. However, your post made me laugh out loud. I liked it, it’s a creative idea to laugh about politics. 🙂 By the way, I talked to Shyna and she said she would vote for Christ for the catnip alone. I should remember this post to create one for my cat too if we have elections here in Germany.

    Now to the real stuff… I followed the US election just a bit, but what I’ve seen and heard made me cringe a lot. If I would be an US citizen, I would be highly annoyed that there are no better options.


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