Author Archives: Charles Huss

The Call of the Great Outdoors

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When we moved to our current home and Chris was able to go out on the patio again, we thought he would be happy. Unfortunately, it is like that old saying, “Give someone an inch and they will take a mile.” Chris was not happy with his inch. Being partly exposed to the outside just made him want it even more.

Every time one of us came home or left while the cat door was open, we had to figure out how to get through the door without Chris getting out. I use the past tense but it is still true today. Sometimes I would just let him out because it was easier than fighting with him. At first, just like at our last place, Chris would just roll around on the sidewalk, but soon he started making a beeline for the front yard.

Bad Cat Chris in bushes

Bad Cat Chris in bushes

He did not go far. He just ran around the front yard, investigating every movement. For awhile we thought it was a little cute. We would let him out after listening to him cry for a while, then I would try to catch him after four or five minutes. Of course, this wasn’t easy. He would usually wait until I got close and then bolt away. I would then have to walk across the yard to get him and he would run back. I think this game of “Catch me if you can” was fun for Chris but I got little enjoyment from it.It wasn’t long, however, before he discovered that the outside world had an ample supply of lizards. The first thing he did when he got outside was look for lizards. Sometimes he would catch one as soon as he got out. If he didn’t find one right away, the lizards would hide. It was funny watching him sometimes because he would be searching through the bushes while several lizards hung very still on trees opposite of Chris’s field of vision.


When he did catch one, I would have to get it out of his mouth before he killed it. This usually resulted in some resistance along with some growling. We soon decided that, for the sake of the lizard population, we would try to resist giving in to his begging to go outside.

Cat Perch on patio
You can see what a great strategic position he is in when he waits under the cat perch.

Chris is a very smart cat and can easily adapt, so when we stopped letting him out, he changed his strategy. He started laying under the cat perch, especially when he knew someone was leaving. It is the perfect spot because we can’t pick him up from there and we also can’t hold him down without blocking the door from opening.

As usual, we change our strategy, Chris changes his, we change ours to counter and it goes on and on. It is like playing chess with a cat. When he started hiding under the perch, I started opening the door slightly to lure him out. When he went for the opening I would quickly shut the door and grab him.

Chris countered by waiting under the perch. He is too smart to let himself be fooled more than once or twice so he held his ground until he had a clear shot out the door.

My next move was to give the cats treats when someone had to come in or go out. All the cats would come running for treats which was my chance to close the cat door. This actually worked for a while. I think the lure of treats was too great, even for Chris. Eventually though, he stopped falling for it.

Even when it did work, it was not foolproof because he would sometime sneak out the main door when we tried to leave and park himself under the perch. If I wasn’t in a hurry, I would just let him out because catching him outside was easier than getting him out from his little fortress.

Chris soon stopped looking for lizards and started eating grass. I know it is natural for cats to eat grass so I would give him a few minutes before bringing him in.

Even today Chris is still getting outside. On Halloween I was very carefull to open the door just a crack to give candy out but that was all it took. Aren’t cats supposed to be afraid of strangers wearing masks?

The Annoyance Strategy

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In my last post I mentioned that we were finally able to close our bedroom door by putting plastic under the door and objects next to it that kept Bad Cat Chris from digging the carpet. That, combined with the fact that Chris now had a cat door to the patio, meant that we were able to finally get a good night sleep. He usually woke us up in the middle of the night with some whining and scratching on the door but we ignored him and he soon went away.

This lasted a week or two until Chris focused on a new strategy to open the door. Actually the strategy was old, annoyance, but the method was new. He started trying to open the door using the door handle. This particular door had a lever handle instead of the more common round handles. This made it easy for him to stretch and pull the handle down. The only thing that kept him out was the fact that this door had a slightly tighter fit that the closet door that he could open at our last home. It also opened in, instead of out and he did not have the weight to push it open.

None of that mattered though because I don’t think he was trying to open the door. I think he knew that was not possible so his plan was to get one of us to open it. If you think about it, he did the only logical thing he could do. He annoyed the crap out of us. Every time he pulled the handle down and let go, it made a loud noise. He would stand on two legs and flip the handle repeatedly.

I think he could only stand on his hind legs for short periods of time so there would usually be thirty seconds of handle flipping followed by a ten second break and then it would start over again. It worked. This was his ticket into the bedroom. We still locked him out every night but usually sometime between 3:30 and 4:30 the handle flipping would start and he would be let in.

Chris won that round but we humans were not going to let a cat outsmart us (again) so we did the only thing we could do. We installed a round door knob. Score one for the humans. Our victory was short-lived though but that is yet again, another story.

Chris is now on Facebook and Twitter, click the link on the sidebar or go to facebook.com/badcatchris or twitter.com/badcatchris.

Chris’s Door

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After moving into our townhome, the cats were very happy to be able to go out on the patio again.This patio was even better because it was on the ground floor where they could better see the ducks, squirrels, lizards, dogs, people and whatever else walked, crawled, slithered or flew by.

There was a couple of problems however. First, there is a saying that “no matter what side of a door a cat is on, he will always want to be on the other side.” This is true for our cats and it was somewhat annoying having to let them out and back in all the time. Chris was especially annoying because he was very vocal about wanting to change sides.

The other problem was that we had to keep them inside at night because there was no food, water or a litter box outside. This meant that Chris was upstairs annoying us for half the night while we were trying to sleep. Then one day the solution just appeared.

Our new cat door
Our new cat door

We ran across someone selling a cat door that attaches to a sliding glass door, so we decided to buy it. We had one in South Carolina but it would not fit the tracks. It did fit the track for the screen however so we put it on that track. This worked but did not allow us to lock the door so the cats had to stay in at night and when we were not home.

Now we actually had a cat door that worked the way it was supposed to. Chris, of course, had no problem zipping in and out through the door. Abbey and Tigger were a few weeks behind getting the hang of it.

Chris and Tigger enjoying the patio
Chris and Tigger enjoying the patio.

The best part about the cat door was that it cut down on the amount of time that Chris was upstairs keeping us awake. After a short time I decided to try closing the bedroom door again. As usual I put the plastic runner under the door and put an object on each side in hopes of preventing Chris from digging up the carpet. This did not work before but now it seemed worth another shot.

Miraculously, we were finally able to get a good night’s sleep. Sure, Chris would come up at 4:30 in the morning and cry and scratch at the door, but we would just ignore him and eventually he would quit and go away. I think this worked because he had somewhere better he could be.

But alas, he would not truly earn his name Bad Cat Chris if this was the end of the story. When it comes to Chris, any solution is only temporary until he can find a new way to cause trouble. I’ll save that story for another time.

On another note, Bad Cat Chris now has his own Facebook page. There is a button on the side bar if you would like to “Like” him or you can check out the page at facebook.com/badcatchris.

Another Story About Poop

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I know what you’re thinking. “Not another poop story!” Yes, it’s true. If you truly don’t have the fortitude to read anything more about poop, I suggest you stop reading now.

For those of you still with me, here we go…

Rose’s birthday is after Christmas, so to celebrate, we vacationed in St. Augustine at the end of 2011. By then, Chris’s problem with pooping on the floor had not been eliminated but it was down to a tolerable level. We had a cat sitter come in while we were gone and when we came back we were greeted by poop on the floor.

I think, perhaps, he was punishing us for going away, but the punishing didn’t stop when we got home. He was literally pooping on the floor two or three times a day. Worse, it was usually on the carpet and not in the tub where he used to poop. At least there it was easier to clean.

Out of desperation I bought Precious Cat Litter Attractant and put it in our litter boxes. At $15 a bottle it was not cheap, but if it worked, it would be worth it. It didn’t. Chris continued to poop on the floor so I brought the unused portion back to the store for my money back.

A short time later I was doing more research and realized I did not follow the directions and added the attractant to a  litter that was not unscented, so I decided to try again. This time I bought the Cat Attract litter so I would be sure it was right. Again, it is an expensive litter but I was desperate.

This time there was some hope. The bag of litter had a 100% litter box usage guarantee but Chris was still not using the litter box 100% of the time. I thought about returning it again but that was a hassle. Plus, he was using it more and as time went by, his  litter box usage improved until he very rarely pooped on the floor.

Later, when it was time to change the litter, I assumed the floor pooping was a habit that was now broken so I bought their cheaper but still expensive unscented litter. So what do you think happened? Remember we are talking about Chris who never makes anything easy. Of course he started pooping on the floor again.

I guess we are stuck with an expensive, pain-in-the-butt cat, but, believe it or not, I wouldn’t trade him for anything. Well, almost anything…just kidding.

Chris’s Heart

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When we first got Chris he would lie across my neck or on top of my head. Rose used to joke that, “You can wear him as a hat, you can wear him as a scarf…” Because we could hear his heartbeat when he did that, we noticed early on that his heartbeat was incredibly fast. It seemed as though he just finished a marathon, and since Chris was such a busy kitten, we concluded that he was exhausting himself.

Besides the fast heartbeat, Chris would also breathe very quickly, taking in many breaths of air in a short time. My concern led me to do some research where I found this to be somewhat normal for kittens.

Fast forward about a year where Chris and Tigger were napping on the bed. I noticed Chris was breathing very quickly while he was napping. I decided to count the breaths. Chris took in 88 breaths in one minute while Tigger only took in 11. That was an incredible 8 to 1 ratio.

I thought about taking him to the vet but we couldn’t justify spending hundreds of dollars on endless tests for a cat that had more energy than an atomic bomb.

I was reminded about this problem this morning when he woke me up and I could hear his heart racing. The good news is, Chris and Tigger are napping here now and I counted 23 breaths for Chris and 32 for Tigger. I hope I don’t have to worry about Tigger now.

Chris and Tigger

Chris and Tigger, just took this picture as I was writing. To the left was Abbey’s bed.

Chris Takes the High Ground

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Chris on kitchen cabinet

Cats, by nature, seem to like being up high. I suppose it is the predator instinct and it is no more obvious than in a cat like Chris. I mentioned before that he likes getting on top of things and our new apartment seemed like it was built with him in mind.

For starters, our kitchen cabinets do not go to the ceiling so there is a gap above them that Chris loves to get into. he usually jumps on the counter, then to the refrigerator and from there it is an easy step up. Sometimes he will leap from the fridge to the cabinets on the opposite side. I worry that he will miss and hurt himself but so far, so good.

Bad Cat Chris on railing

I don’t know how he does this

Then there is the handrail at the upstairs landing, it overlooks the living room and is about 12 to 15 feet above the floor. It is only about an inch and a half wide and I often see him jumping up on the railing.

There is also the china cabinet. He would get up there when we were in the living room watching television. I think he may do that to show us how bad he can be. To get up there he jumps on Rose’s chair, then to the fire-place mantle and then up on top of the cabinet.

Bad Cat Chris on China Cabinet

Bad Cat Chris on China Cabinet

Rose tried putting decorations on the mantle and the top of the cabinet to discourage him from jumping up there but he did anyway. Some of the items were breakable and I was worried he was going to break something but somehow he was able to make three jumps in quick succession without disturbing anything. It seemed impossible from my perspective but yet, there he was on the cabinet with nothing out-of-place.

Finally there was the mystery of Rose’s curio cabinet. It is at the end of the hallway with seemingly nothing close enough to use as a springboard, yet Chris still managed to get on top of it. Usually I would hear a loud noise and I would look to see the curio cabinet rocking slightly and Chris sitting on top of it. I was concerned that he might send it crashing down, possibly on top of him.

Curio Cabinet

Curio Cabinet – Bathroom door is on left

Fortunately he did not get up there often but each time he did I was baffled by how he did it. It is a jump of well over six feet straight up. Rose concluded he jumped on the dining room table, then to the top of the blinds over the sliding glass door. From there, she thought, he walked to the edge and made the five foot jump to the cabinet. I was not convinced. The ceiling was too close to allow him the arc that he needed.

I finally saw him make the jump out of the corner of my eye one day. He stood on the end of the counter in the bathroom and made the long jump through the doorway to the top of the cabinet. It was just within the range of possibility and Chris had figured it out long before me. I may never have thought of that if I had not seen it. Makes me wonder who the smarter species is.

Bad Cat Chris on shelf in closet

Did I mention the closet?

Another Big Move

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Late in 2011 we decided to move out of our waterfront condo and live where Rose works. Part of the reason for doing that was to save about $400 a month. The other reason was for convenience. Since Rose managed the property that we were moving to, she would not have to drive to work and she could better keep an eye on the property. It also cut in half my drive to work and eventually led to me being able to ride my bicycle there. (See newlybent.wordpress.com)

It was also better for the cats. I don’t think they appreciated the waterfront view as much as we did. What they wanted, especially Chris, was to go outside. Well, that wasn’t an option, but the new place had a screened in patio that the condo did not have.

We spent weeks packing, during which time our home was basically turned upside-down. The cats knew something was going on but they have been through moves before and did not seem too stressed about it. Abbey and Tigger had been through three moves with us and who knows how many more before we adopted them. Chris had moved once with us but he was also transferred from one shelter to another before we found him. In addition, he was adopted and then returned.

When the movers came, we had to put the cats in the bathroom until they were finished. They were not happy about that. Abbey and Tigger stayed relatively quiet but Chris wanted out and was not shy about letting us know.

Our new apartment is one of the few townhomes that are on the property. It has two floors with the master bedroom upstairs and another bedroom downstairs. I had a plan to finally keep Chris out of the bedroom so we could sleep. I bought a plastic runner and cut it to fit just right under the bedroom door so he couldn’t dig up the carpet. I thought since he was not accustomed to being in the bedroom at night, he wouldn’t miss it.

That plan made perfect sense in theory but I didn’t anticipate Rose feeling bad for the cats after putting them through another move. This of course meant that we had to continue to put up with Chris in the bedroom at night. I tried using my plastic runner a few days later but since he knew what he was missing he sat outside the door crying and digging. He quickly realized he couldn’t did through the plastic so he did the next best thing, he started digging at carpet next to the plastic. I think he knows he can’t dig his way into the room; he just wants to annoy us enough to open the door.

Rug Guard

I added the objects on the sides because he was digging next to the plastic.

carpet damage

Even with the brick in the way, Chris finds a way to ruin the carpet.

I thought we could put a litter box on the patio and put him out at night but Rose vetoed that idea. I think she was afraid a visitor would smell poop when they came to visit, or worse, she would smell it.

Eventually we found something that changed everything, but that is a story for another time, so I hope you keep reading.

 

Chris the Exterminator

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Even though Chris is a bad cat he has a few good qualities. Besides being the entertainer in the house, he also keeps our home relatively bug free. To be honest, Tigger deserves partial credit for that but Tigger is more of a spotter, Chris is a take action kind of cat. Weather Chris spots an invader first or Tigger, it doesn’t matter, Chris is on it like a fly on…well, lets just say he is extremely focused.

Chris with lizzard
Chris with lizzard

It is funny to watch him too because he doesn’t just catch insects, spiders, lizards or whatever other small creature enters our house, he has to play them. He keeps them alive for a while and watches them, when they try to escape, he corrals them with his paw.

More than once I saw him catch a fly and play with it like that. Somehow he knows how to disable the fly’s ability to fly away. I have even seen him play with it in one room, pick it up with his mouth and move it to another room and continue to play with it then move it to a third room before eating it. I used the term “play” but I am sure the fly didn’t see it that way.

Flies, at least, have a chance, not so with cockroaches, at least not for the ones he sees. Fortunately he doesn’t eat those or I would really be grossed out, but he does leave them as a present. That’s okay. I would rather pick up a dead roach than know there is a live one lurking around.

When One Door Opens…Look for Chris

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People that think dogs are smarter than cats haven’t met Chris. Dogs may be more trainable but that is only because they are more dependent on humans. Chris on the other hand can’t be trained but he certainly can learn, and he has amazing deductive reasoning skills.

For example, we had a storage room under the stairs in the condo. The door to the closet was a standard door with a standard round door knob. One day Chris decided he wanted to investigate what was behind that door. He worked on it for a while pulling at the bottom to no avail.

Eventually he tried reaching for the doorknob, which he could barely reach. He would grab it with both paws for a split second and then drop to the ground and pull at the bottom of the door. Then he would repeat the routine. Eventually he was able to turn the knob and unlatch the door. It didn’t pop open until he performed the second half of his plan, which was pulling it at the bottom. Once he learned this trick, we couldn’t keep him out of the closet.

We also had the accordion type closet doors upstairs. He taught himself how to open those doors too. He would lay on the floor and pull the middle out untill it popped slightly open. He then would go to the open crack and pulled on it until he could get inside.

If I was a criminal I would bring him along to help crack safes.