Tag Archives: misbehave

Morning Mayhem


This story happened on Monday of last week and involves three bad cats.

My wife, Rose, recently developed wrist pain and she sometimes wakes up and can’t go back to sleep because of it. On this day she got up at about 3:15 in the morning. As I was trying to go back to sleep I heard her open the outside door to throw something out and then I heard her yell at Frankie. She then announced, “Frankie got out.”

That morning happened to be the coldest this season and I was tired and I didn’t want to get up at 3:15 in the morning to chase Frankie around the neighborhood. I knew he would come back so I tried to go back to sleep but him being outside bothered me so I eventually dragged myself out of bed, put on some warm clothes and a jacket, and went out to look for him.

The Jacket I had on was a Florida jacket and didn’t come close to fulfilling its job of keeping me warm. I walked around the area for 15 minutes looking for Frankie but eventually got too cold and had to go home.

I decided to go back to bed because I was very tired but now Chris and Puck were on the bed. I just left them there and got into bed.

Everything was fine for a short time and I almost fell asleep but then Chris started bothering me. He positioned himself next to my face and started licking and biting my nose. When I turned my head away, he started digging his claws into my neck and the back of my head. I tried pushing him away but he kept coming back. Eventually, Rose heard what was going on and came in to help. She removed all the cats from the bedroom and closed the door so I could go back to sleep.

After a little while of trying to go back to sleep, I heard the door open and I heard Rose say, “Come inside you bad boy.” Frankie was back. That made me feel better but I had another problem.

Just before or just after Frankie came back, I don’t remember, I felt Puck get on the bed. Appearently, Rose did not remove all the cats from the bedroom. That concerned me a little because the last time he was trapped in the bedroom he peed on the bed and on me. I tried to put that thought out of my mind but before too much time passed I felt a very warm feeling against my leg. He did it again! He peed on the bed! And he peed on me!

That woke me up fast. I got out of bed and gathered up all the sheets and threw them outside to be washed. Then I got in the shower before I did anything else.

Fortunately, we had a mattress cover on the bed which protected our mattress and our expensive foam mattress pad. I replaced the sheets and blanket with a new set and I put the other ones in the wash.

Washing clothes in our house is a step-by-step process. I might put a load in the washing machine in the morning before I go to work and then put it in the dryer when I get home. We have a high-efficiency washer and dryer but the dryer is not very efficient. Even at the driest setting it never dries on the first try. Since the machines are outside, I never hear the buzzer when they’re done so I always have to remember, which is something I am not good at.  Sometimes it will take a full day or more to wash, dry and remove clothes from the dryer. Eventually, I got everything out and folded but decided to wait until we changed the sheets, which we always do on Saturday morning, before putting the mattress cover back on. Bad decision.

Friday morning Rose got up to use the bathroom and all the cats busted through the door when she opened it. This time it was a more reasonable hour. It was almost time to get up anyway. Chris and Puck jumped on the bed like they usually do while I waited for Rose to get out of the bathroom.

When I got up and walked towards the bathroom I touched the foot of the bed for some reason and noticed it was wet. Puck peed on it again! I couldn’t believe it. He was only in our room for two minutes. This time there was no cover to protect the bed.

I pulled the sheets up and I pulled up the mattress pad and noticed some of the pee had gone down through four inches of foam into the mattress. I was able to save the mattress with some urine eliminator but the mattress pad was a goner.

The rest of the story is only appropriate for an R-rated blog.

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