Our stuff finally arrived from the moving company after they held it hostage for 38 days. Rose called them every other day for the last two weeks and got one promise after another. She was convinced we would never see our stuff, and that was a big stress factor for her. For me, there was only one thing on the truck that I would grieve over losing: Chris’s ashes.
His remains are here on my desk now.
My original plan was to spread his ashes in the backyard near the catio here. A place he enjoyed hanging out. Now, I feel I should bring him back to Florida and spread his ashes outside the catio there. Rose thinks that is a bad idea because he has never lived there. My concern is we may not own this house for very much longer and I prefer Chris to be near us.
I know it is not really Chris. I don’t really think his spirit hangs out where his ashes are. It is just symbolic. It would be nice to look out and know Chris is out there, or at least part of him.
There are two reasons why I don’t think we will own this house for a long time. First, we had discussed selling it at some point and using the proceeds to buyto pay down our Florida mortgage.
The second reason is more complicated. We have been working nonstop on this house since we arrived. It’s like a money pit, but it has been rented for over three years, so that’s part of it. We don’t expect it to be as much work next year, but it is an old house.
There was also the stress of our stuff in limbo and then there was the “incident.” A little over two weeks ago on a Saturday, Rose was outside with me helping to do yard work. Foolishly, she was wearing shorts and flipflops like she was in Florida.
Afterward, she noticed two bite marks on her foot, like she was bitten by a snake. Later, there were what appeared to be numerous minor marks on her body, resembling insect bites. She was convinced our house had fleas, but I was not affected, and neither were our cats. She had terrible itching for over a week and a half. During that time, she went to the doctor three times while her symptoms continued to worsen. It was determined she was probably bitten by a brown recluse spider, and her itching caused a bacterial infection to spread. Only during the last couple of days have the symptoms started to diminish.
I know this is a very wordy explanation, but the point is that during those dark days, she kept saying she hated it here and wanted to return to Florida. Now that she is getting better, she is more receptive to staying here, but I still feel that we are far more likely to grow old in Florida, so I think I would like Chris to be there too.
Bad Cat Chris 
I still have my cats (and dogs) ashes in their little boxes in my closet. It’s a hard thing, Charles. Chris knew Florida so well, didn’t he? Isn’t this only your second time at this other house? That’s not home to Chris. He needs to be near you. That’s what matters.
That is my feeling, too
Hard decisions, and as we move toward these later years, the choices seem to only get harder (didn’t quite expect that!). And that “big move” OMC, thought I’d be in the sunshine state furever, yet here I am, back where I began … a dozen plus years still wondering about that long ago “hard decision”. And that beautiful little bag of ashes, can some possibly be there, and some go with you wherever you may go, and so always with you, Chris may not care as long as he’s near you …
I think near us in Florida is better.
Gosh – Sounds like you’ve had some “signs” that W. VA isn’t the place to be – between the money pit house, the spider bite, the dog incident, and your feeling that Chris just isn’t “home” there……I’d say you’ve already decided what to do. The other thing is that it gets tougher doing these “temporary” moves as we age (trust me on that). Perhaps Florida truly is your “home sweet home”.
Hugs, Pam
Yes. I like coming up here because it’s a change from Florida but I have always found Florida to be my home even though I grew up in Illinois.
That’s a tough call. Couldn’t you scatter some of the ashes in each place? Then Chris will be where he was, and he’ll also be where you are. Meanwhile, be careful out there…. Bugs. Ugh.
Maybe. I don’t know. I’m sure Chris doesn’t care.
I’m sure Chris would want you to do whatever brought you the greatest comfort.
Thanks.
I have Cody’s ashes in a custom made urn that is kept on his favorite cat tree. Maybe that is something to consider?
That is an option too.
My opinion doesn’t count of course but I agree with FL for Chris. Oh, if I had those spiders in or around my house I’d move too.
Your opinion does count.
I think Florida is a better choice for Chris’ ashes. I don’t spread our cats’ ashes. When we pass, the ashes will go in our caskets.
That is a good option too.
When I’m having trouble deciding, I flip a coin and whether I am happy or am disappointed with how it comes out, there’s my answer.
Good idea.
Gosh, it is tough. We too were wondering do with our first dog – do we scatter her here or where we used to live. When she went over the bridge, we took half her ashes and sprinkled them in her favorite places. Then we packaged the other half up. We did the same with the other dogs and cats. The remaining ashes will be mixed with me when I make the crossing. In the meantime, all of their ashes are in my office (and I talk to them). I know it seems a little macabre but find it comforting. I had to hire a cleaning lady after I broke my leg last fall and I was a little concerned she might find the metal container they are in a little strange, but she said she wished she had thought of that. Do what feels right for you.
I don’t think it’s strange. I get it.
I think that Chris would want to be near you
I think so too.